What am I doing in a junior college? Why am I taking on the A levels? Why did I not go over to the polytechnic?

Sometimes reality slaps me so hard in the face, it's really very hard to ignore. I asked Abba today, where's my 30fold?

I found out today that I have de-proved. I found out, yet again, what it's like to feel extremely disappointed. I found out today, that I've grown so used to failure. I found out today what it feels like to feel blessed for a friend, but yet envious of that friend. Today, I felt stupid and small. Most importantly, today I know how much my Abba loves me. Today I found out in the smallest ways how magnificent my God is. Today, I finally realise that I'm none of the above. Today, I've began to see, what it means to cast my eyes on Jesus and disregard my circumstances.

Life has been pretty harsh on me, but my Jesus has always been and will always be here for me.

There is no testimony without testings. No room for improvement without mistakes. Correction hurts, but is vital.

It's a heartfelt knowing that it's correction out of love, and I can run into His embrace when I cry.

You know what, I'm imperfect.

It does not matter.

A God who loves me just as I am, but too much to allow me to remain as I am. I finally understand what it means.